


Human

by Fidemdormiens



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: A biotics kink? Who has a biotics kink?, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Language, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 04:04:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10608915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fidemdormiens/pseuds/Fidemdormiens
Summary: "But you and I, we are important right now. This will never happen again. Us. Shepard, you make me feel… human."The night before Ilos, Shepard finally convinces Kiadan to admit his feelings and let her remind him what it's like to be human. At the same time she realises just how much she has to lose.They also learn a few things about biotics that no one teaches at brain camp.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Initial dialogue is pretty much lifted from the game with a few minor edits (lazy? yes).

"Commander?" 

Shepard turns at the sound of Kaidan's voice and he steps into her quarters. 

"I'm not sure I deserve the rank anymore. You probably shouldn't call me that." She smiles ruefully, "I probably shouldn't even be wearing this uniform." 

"It's a hell of a thing. Breaking our oath to defend the Alliance so that we can keep it." He says, shaking his head. 

"What happens if this doesn't work out, Shepard? We mutinied, stole a prototype warship - if they wanted to get technical, they can throw in kidnapping. We're a hell of an example of humanity's best and brightest, huh?"  
His tone is light but he echoes the thoughts that have been running endlessly across her mind. 

"You said it. I keep reminding myself that we're doing the right thing. I still don't believe me yet."

"Well if I didn't think you were doing the right thing, I wouldn't be here." He steps closer and she wants to tell him how just how much it means to hear him say that. 

"It'll really hit the fan when we get to Ilos. If things don't go well, I want you to know – Well, I've enjoyed serving under you."  
She stares at him, even after everything they've been through, he still won't admit it? 

"We're more than that, Kaidan. You know you stopped being a subordinate a long time ago. Can't you accept that now?" 

"I don't know Shepard; battlefield flirting is one thing. There are regs against fraternisation. Well, I suppose breach of protocol will be pretty far down the list of charges at our court martial. "

He looks at her and she can see the conflict in his eyes. Lieutenant Alenko isn't one for breaking the rules. There's something else behind them though. Something that makes the knot in her stomach tighten.

"You know what, you're right. About everything." He takes a deep breath and catches her hands in his. They're rough and calloused from carrying a weapon for so long but his grip is reassuring. 

"I think about losing you and I can't stand it. The galaxy will just keep going. Everything, even the Reapers, will come around again. But you and I, we are important right now. This will never happen again. Us. Shepard, you make me feel… human."  
His words make her heart ache desperately and she wishes that it didn't have to happen like this. With the uncertainty of tomorrow weighing so heavily on them. Perhaps though, for a few hours, they can forget everything. 

"Stay with me. Bunk here tonight, Kaidan, with me."

"Is that an order, Commander?" He asks, arching an eyebrow. 

She shakes her head, swallowing, trying to stop her voice from breaking. 

"No games, Kaidan. You make me feel like I can take on the universe. And right now? I kind of have to. So stay. Please."

He steps just a little closer and her breath hitches.

"This can’t change anything, Shepard. This is a good crew. The finest I’ve served with. I don’t want to mess it up."

"Kaidan... "

"I'm not going anywhere," he murmurs and leans in to kiss her. 

Heat coils in her stomach at the brush of his lips against hers, soft yet firm. It's fleeting, all too brief, before he pulls away leaving her heart hammering in her chest. She feels his fingers tremble against her own and he pauses, resting his forehead against hers. He's breathing deeply, eyes closed, as if overwhelmed. Leaning into him she focuses on the closeness of him, the comforting scent of him. He smells clean and familiar, like the Normandy, but with something warmer running underneath. She rubs her thumbs soothingly in small circles over his skin, grounding them both, letting her awareness narrow down to the points of contact between them. 

Achingly slowly they come back together, hesitant breath mixing as they linger, not quite touching. Then her lips meet his again and she's falling. His hands drop hers, moving to cup her face possessively, calloused palms against her jaw and thumbs rubbing over her cheekbones. She wraps her arms around his neck and draws closer into him. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss and his tongue brushes across her parted lips. Giving into him she lets their tongues twine together. The sharp taste of peppermint washes over her and she smiles against his lips. How very Kaidan. More insistent now he presses into her, the slick glide of his tongue intoxicating. A soft noise escapes her, a plea, don't stop. He drinks it down, along with her breath, stealing the air from her lungs. Kissing her until she's dizzy. Slowly he moves backwards towards the bed and she follows, not letting any distance form between them. He fumbles blindly at the edge, breaking away so that he can sit. His hands drop to her waist and he pulls her into his lap. She goes eagerly, wedging her knees either side of his thighs so that she's tucked tight into him. 

"Shepard?"

"Hmmm?" Her fingers brush absentmindedly through his hair. 

"I need you to know, that this -" he swallows, looking at her intently. "This isn't just... I mean. I care about you Shepard. More than I've cared about anyone in a long time. Maybe more than ever." 

Her hand stills, resting against his cheek. 

"I love you Kaidan." The words slip out before she can stop them. Perhaps now isn't the right time but the reality that there might never be another chance hits her in the gut. He tenses, going very still, wide eyed in shock. She feels a stab of fear. Was that a line she shouldn't have crossed? 

Then he lets out a quiet sigh, softening into her touch. 

"Dammit Shepard. I love you too."

Her heart shatters. She reaches blindly for him, meeting his lips in a desperate kiss. Want unravelling in her. She wants him, wants everything. Wants him to take her slowly, soft kisses and touches on every inch of her skin. Wants him to undo her with rough hands until she screams under him. Wants everything that he has to give. 

He sucks teasingly on her bottom lip before moving away to kiss across her jaw. He works down her neck, tongue leaving trails of heat as he plants eager open mouthed kisses. She arches backwards and lets out a soft moan as his teeth graze over her pulse point. Her hips cant, grinding against him. Letting out a sharp breath against her skin, his own hips buck up in response. He grabs her waist, pulling her hard into him. The press of his arousal against her sends the heat in her stomach burning lower. 

"Kaidan..."

His fingers tear at the fastenings of her uniform, unzipping it. She helps him shrug it free then pulls her bra off over her head. Goosebumps prickle her skin as it's exposed to the cool air. Her nipples brush against his chest, tightening against the rough fabric. Kaidan runs his hands over her, calloused palms skimming down her back and across her ribs. The faintest thrum of his biotics echoes through his fingers and she shudders as her own flares in response. Reaching up she undoes her hair, letting it tumble free around her shoulders. She's not sure if any of the crew have ever seen her with it loose. 

"Fuck Shepard. You're beautiful." He whispers, almost reverently, pupils blown out. 

Another murmur is lost against her lips as he fists a hand in her hair, drawing them together again. Hands shaking, she works at his uniform. His tongue in her mouth distracts her and it takes much longer than she wants. She finally gets it undone and is starting to drag it off when his hands find her breasts. All thought slips away as he cups them, thumbs drawing slow circles around her nipples. She presses into his hands and he begins to tease them in earnest, pinching and rolling their peaks between thumb and forefinger. Her hips snap into him again involuntarily, and he's hot and hard, tight against her throbbing cunt. Seeking skin, she scrabbles at the fabric and he finally pauses long enough to let her pull it off. She runs her hands over his shoulders, down his chest, revelling in the bunch and shift of muscle. There's something incredibly comforting about the solidity of him. This is real, he is here, tonight she doesn't have to be the Commander. 

He drops his head, teeth scraping over her collarbone as he sucks kisses lower. Her fingers dig into him as his tongue drags across her nipple. Every pull and tug sends heat burning through her and she rocks against him in urgent little motions, fabric dragging over her slick cunt. Her fingers dance through his hair, smoothing down the back of his neck. She traces around his bio-amp gently, power flaring ever so slightly at the contact. He groans against her skin so she does it again, fingers flickering with the barest of contact. That earns her a jerk of his hips and he bites down on her nipple, laving away the sharp ache with his tongue. Her back arches into him even as she tries to rock against his cock again. Caught between the sensations she squirms, every movement sending jolts of pleasure through her. 

"More," she gasps. "Please. I need -"

He makes a noise that could almost be a growl and in one swift movement flips her so that she's on her back on the bed. There's a pause as he kicks his boots off then he's on top of her, covering her with his body. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him in close so she can kiss him, eager tongue sliding against his. His hands are trailing restlessly over her, leaving her skin tingling in their wake. She grabs one and guides it down to the zipper of her trousers. Blindly he fumbles them open, fingers pressing in over her underwear. They brush lower, searching, and he groans as they find the wet patch over her cunt. 

"Fuck, Shep. You’re soaking..."

He begins to rub slow strokes, dragging the fabric over her and her hips buck in response. Grinding against him as she tries to find more friction. 

"Kaidan, please..."

Her plea is lost to his lips and he continues the achingly slow rhythm. She's pressed tight against him, skin on skin and the flare of his biotics is obvious. There's something intensely intimate about the push and pull of their power as it mixes. He doesn't stop until she's squirming and gasping under him, lost to the throbbing heat between her thighs. Then, as he sucks one last slow kiss into her neck he pulls his fingers free and shifts to kneel over her. Her hips twitch against empty air and she moans needily. 

"Oh, fuck, Shep..." 

Both of his hands are on her hips now and he starts to peel her trousers off, sitting back on his heels to ease them off over her feet. He works his way back up slowly, palms skimming over her calves and up along over her knees. His fingers trace painfully slowly up the inside of her thighs. 

"Please..."

He drops his head and covers the damp spot on her underwear with his mouth. His tongue presses into her, scalding hot despite the fabric between them. Her hips thrust up into him but he puts a restraining hand on her stomach, holding her down. Everything condenses to his hot breath and slow sucking kisses. Her cunt throbs in time with her pounding heart and she scrabbles at his head. It's too much and not enough all at once. 

"Kaidan," she manages to choke out. "Get on with it." 

He looks up at her, eyebrows raised, "Is that an order Shepard?" 

Groaning she drops her head again but he relents, pulling back so that he can drag her underwear off. Finally. He spreads her legs further and brushes a knuckle over her slit. She nearly screams at the direct contact, overwrought and aching. Then his tongue drags slowly between her folds, sending heat exploding through her. One hand clutches at the sheets as she fists the other into his hair. Sure fingers spread her open to him and his tongue flicks across her clit. Moaning, she tries not to thrust against him as he sucks gently at the sensitive nub. 

"Please..." she gasps, having lost the capacity to say much else.

He quests further, sliding into her. She can't focus on anything but the pleasure coiling inside her. Insistent, he fucks her with tongue, occasionally returning his attention to her clit. Eyes closed, chest heaving, the heavy drag of his tongue pulls her closer and closer. He speeds up, feeling her urgency. Suddenly she shatters, letting out a wordless cry as she comes against him. Back arching against the bed, her hands clutch at his hair. He keeps going, guiding her higher through the aftershocks as she trembles under his touch.

"Fuck," she sobs and Kaidan kisses the insides of her thighs, easing her back from the edge. 

Tugging gently on his hair she means to guide him back up to kiss her again. Instead he catches her wrist, holding her still. 

"Not yet," he murmurs, breath tickling her skin. Then he draws his tongue across her cunt again. She squirms, oversensitive, hips twitching. 

"I don't think I can -"

He whispers reassurances against her, stroking her thighs as he works insistently. She relaxes into him, pleasure beginning to spool inexplicably within her again. His tongue flicks across her clit once before he sinks a finger into her. She shudders and moans as he hooks it inside her, pressing down on just the right spot. Kaidan lets out his own groan as she clenches down on him, crying out again as he adds a second finger. He fucks her with them slowly, stretching her and she rocks her hips desperately into his thrusts. His tongue draws a circle around her entrance, teasing at the tight stretch of skin. Her hips slam upwards in response, taking him deeper into her. A restraining hand rests onto her thigh, keeping her spread open for him. She's making small, needy noises that she might be embarrassed by if she had any attention left to spare. He adds a third finger and she's so slick that she takes it easily, seeing stars at the slight stretch and burn, the fullness. Her hands roam over her body, pinching and teasing at her nipples as she writhes under him, unable to keep still. He sets a relentless pace, fingers grinding into her as he sucks at her clit. It's not long before she feels herself begin to tighten, pleasure thrumming through her.

"Come for me Shep. I want to see you come again." His voice is rough and low, sending her right to the brink. 

He presses deep into her and the wave breaks over her. She clenches tight around his fingers as the orgasm slams into her. It doesn't stop, drawn out by little strokes of his tongue, rippling through her until she's gasping for breath. 

Boneless she rests a hand on the nape of his neck as he trails kisses up from her soft curls, across the planes of her stomach, letting the tension drain out her. Then he shifts so that he can kiss her mouth and she tastes herself on his swollen lips. His tongue slides against hers, sending a jolt through her as she feels the echoes of it between her legs. As he moves over her she can feel the hardness of him, straining inside his trousers. She grinds up against him, earning herself a long groan. Her fingers find his crotch, cupping his cock through the cloth, stroking slowly. 

"Shep..." He grunts, thrusting into her hand involuntarily. 

She slides a hand into his waistband, feeling the heat of him against her before undoing the zipper. Pushing his trousers and boxers down she lets his erection spring free. He's hard and thick and all of a sudden she wants him inside of her. Gripping him loosely she strokes up and down, twisting her wrist slightly as she goes, watching his eyes flutter closed. Running her thumb across his slit she catches the beads of pre-cum that are dripping from him, spreading them over the head. His hips jut into her again, and he muffles a moan against her shoulder. 

"Fuck, Shep, I - "

"Kaidan, please. Please." 

He kicks his trousers the rest of the way off, levering himself back down on top of her. Braced above her, he looks at her with an expression of such longing that it makes her heart catch. So she twines her arms around his neck, pulls him in to kiss him. Tries to pour everything that she hasn't had the chance to say into it. To tell him that no matter what happens she will never regret this. He makes a soft, desperate sound against her mouth then he's pressing himself between her thighs. A rough hitch of his hips and he slides into her, bodies coming together. Hilted in her, filling her, he pauses breathing unsteadily. He's trembling slightly under her fingers, small wisps of blue light flashing over his eyes as he fights for control. 

"Easy Kay," she whispers, wondering how many times she's said the same thing in the field. "I'm not going to break." 

He nods, burying his head against her neck. She can still sense the tension in him so she hooks a leg around him and flips them over. He grunts in surprise and grabs at her hips as she sinks deeper onto him. Legs tucked under herself she rocks forward slightly, back arching. Heat spools within her, centred around that exquisite point of contact. Making a small strangled sound his hips shift up to meet her as she rocks down again. He looks up at her, eyes wide with desire, mouth slightly open as he pants for breath. 

"Shepard..."

His hands slide up her body, spanning her waist, coming to rest cupping her breasts. He drags his thumbs over the peaks, hips rolling into her as she speeds up. Every rock forward takes him deeper into her, fitting her, filling her so perfectly. She leans forward, running her hands over his chest, looking for the right angle. Yes, fuck, she grinds into him as his cock rubs against her clit at every stroke. Gasping for air she tilts her head back, spine curving as Kaidan holds her up with a strong arm. Pleasure churns within her as she rocks against him, harder, faster, more. His body is tense under her, moving with her in a shared rhythm. The heat in her stomach tightens unbearably at each thrust as she comes closer and closer. Until she's balanced on the edge, hanging on by a thread. She clings to him, fighting the fall and seeking it desperately all at once. Then Kaidan's free hand drops between them, finding the place where they meet. He circles her clit, pressing in against the throbbing nerves. 

It's enough to send her crumbling over the edge, crying out as heat shoots through her, sharp and bright and aching. She goes limp against his chest, shuddering as she clenches tight around him. He lets out a low growl, bucking under her before grabbing her and flipping her back underneath him. His mouth is hot on hers, drinking down her ragged breaths as he slams into her. She's carried along, waves of pleasure breaking over her as he draws her through the orgasm. He's close, muscles taught as he strains over her, pushing her into the mattress with the force of his thrusts. Wrapping her legs around him, she pulls him tighter into her. The change of angle lets him slide even deeper, pressing into her very core. Beyond pleasure, she is pushed into pure sensation, hyperaware of his body against her, in her. 

She gasps out his name, urging him on, fighting to respond to his thrusts. His hips stutter erratically as he seeks his release. Scrabbling, she finds his hand, clutching it her own. Blue light flares where their palms meet, unspooling and spreading outward. Kaidan's skin glows with it, the air crackling. He cries out her name, repeating it over and over like a prayer as he comes. She feels the heat of his release as he slams deep into her and there's a sudden flash of colour. It washes through her leaving her body tingling as he slows, finally spent. Eyes closed she feels the power dissipate, slipping away, leaving nothing but the faint sharpness of eezo on the air. Kaidan slumps against her, braced on an elbow, breathing heavily. His thumb brushes over her cheek, shockingly gentle. 

"Shit, Shep. That was... Are you okay?" His voice is low, husky and full of warmth. 

She nods, a little too overwhelmed for words and reaches up to cover his hand with her own. 

"I've never... " He breaks off, sounding awed. "Never with another biotic. Not like that." 

"Well you know me, always looking to defy expectations."

He laughs, "And you've never disappointed me Shep." Leaning down his lips meet hers, soft and warm, all urgency gone. 

Then he slips off her, reaching for a towel to clean the slickness from the inside of her thighs. Settling next to her he pulls her, soft limbed and compliant, against him. Arranging her gently, he cradles her head into his chest and presses a tender kiss into her hair. She can feel the slow steady cadence of his breathing and the reassuring beat of his heart against her cheek. He combs his fingers through her hair soothingly and she finds herself slipping away against his warm bulk. 

 

They make love again in the middle of the night, unhurried and tender. Both half asleep, drifting somewhere between waking and dreaming. She's lying on her side, his body fitted tightly against her. One of his arms is flung out underneath her head, fingers tangled with hers. The other hand drifts over her, shoulders, breasts, ribs, stomach, leaving her hair standing on end in its wake. Pressing back into him, she slides against his cock, dragging it against her slick folds. Slowly, he sinks into her from behind, easing himself in until she takes all of him. Turning her head she kisses him, seeking as much contact as possible. He rolls his hips against her, not wanting to leave any space between their bodies. She floats, drifting on the sensation as he presses kisses into her shoulder. His hand drops between her thighs, coaxing her along lazily whilst he whispers quietly into her ear. He praises her softly, tells her how beautiful, how strong she is. Murmurs bittersweet promises that she knows he can't really keep. Says he'll keep her safe, that he'll never leave her. Gives his broken confession, admits that he's loved her since he carried her from Eden Prime. Sinking against him she wishes desperately that it could all be true, that tomorrow didn't have to happen, that this wasn't her responsibility to shoulder. When she comes her cheeks are wet with tears and she's not sure if they're all hers. He pulls out of her, rolls her against him and kisses the tears from her cheeks.

"Whatever happens Shep. We'll always have this." He breathes, pressing his forehead against hers. It’s not enough, it never will be. But, for now, it has to be.


End file.
